sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
