if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
where are my eyebrows?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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