youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize