Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
