i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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