Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
