Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize