my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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