I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
