K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
do herpes really smell.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize