sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
try to milk me bitch
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