I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
