i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
