just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
