Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
