At least make sure they are 18
Why
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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