a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
honey bunches of taint.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
