i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
