Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I fill condoms, not promises.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
