You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
