whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
