she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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