Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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