I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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