I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
