Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She's the barista slut.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize
