This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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