i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
