4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
