So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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