just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize