I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I wish there were birth control emojis
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I am available for nakedness
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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