I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
