ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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