Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
