so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
