Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the condom got lost in my hair
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
