Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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