i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
