Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
