Christians are straight up FREAKS
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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