Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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