Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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