Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
we're so committed to being not committed
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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