Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
