I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
