let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
