wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize