ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just pynch a tree in the face
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
