Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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