Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
