you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize