thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
is that a dick in a sweater?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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