So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
