Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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