But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
