no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
