Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I understand Curling. That high.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize