the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
