i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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