Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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